By Samantha Dockery of Bliss by Sam Weddings and Occasions

At Bliss, we live by the tagline “daring.devoted.” Why daring? Because often, when appropriate of course, we encourage our brides to break from etiquette and/or tradition. Our couples are all about customization and being unique. Here are some of our favorite ideas for breaking the rules and letting etiquette and/tradition slide.

Bride’s Attire: The tradition of a white wedding is commonly credited to Queen Victoria’s choice to wear a white wedding dress at her wedding to Prince Albert in 1840. Royal brides before Victoria did not typically wear white, instead choosing “heavily embossed gowns embroidered with white and silver thread.”

Red was a particularly popular color in Western Europe but many brides were wearing a plethora of colors, including blue, yellow, and practical colors like black, brown, or gray. As accounts of Victoria’s wedding spread across the Atlantic and throughout Europe, elites followed her lead.

If you are a bride who is full of personality, you may opt for a dress of color to capture more of who you are. A bright yellow wedding dress can accentuate lighter skin, which highlights your youth and allows you to exude confidence when wearing it. Asian-style wedding dresses are often bright red and are great compliments to fall weddings. Light blue wedding dresses show the bride’s modesty and nobility, which is the best choice for the bride who has a romantic personality and strong inner heart.

Actress Portia de Rossi DeGeneres was stunning in a Zac Posen backless pink gown with a Cinderella tutu inspired skirt. Portia opted for the look of the traditional Cinderella bride but added an unconventional sexy pink twist; just as she put a modern twist on “happily ever after!”

Cocktail Hour: Typically, this falls between the ceremony and reception. It serves as a time buffer while the couple and wedding party take pictures. A fresh twist on this is to have the cocktail hour prior to the ceremony. Guests are invited to come an hour earlier and are served cocktails while waiting for the wedding to start. This allows your guests to mix and mingle prior to the ceremony and creates a great atmosphere for fellowship.

This works best for those couples opting to see each other prior to the ceremony to take formal photographs (don’t worry – a great photographer can easily create that “first moment you see each other” shot that would normally take place when the bride enters the ceremony).  There are some pros and cons to consider when planning your cocktail hour:

Pros:

• It allows you to go straight into the reception after the ceremony and your guests will appreciate not having to wait to get the festivities started.
• You get a buffer hour before the ceremony so guests may arrive at leisure, cutting down on those last minutes guests holding up your walk down the aisle.
• Guests get a chance to mingle and relax before the wedding which is especially helpful if they have traveled some distance.
• If you’re at an outdoor site that is warm, it is certainly nice for your guests to have a cool, refreshing drink.

Cons:

• Of course a pre-wedding cocktail hour will not be possible if you are getting married at a church, but if your ceremony is at an alternate site this is a possibility.
• You run the risk of someone getting disorderly during the ceremony.
• Getting guests to leave the bar and go into the ceremony might not be the easiest challenge.

Having a planner to “chaperone” this hour and serving limited alcohol and heavy hor d’eueveres will negate all of the bad possible side effects.

White Ceremony/Color Reception: Often times we run into Non-Traditional Bride versus Traditional Mom. Much of the conflict arises from the impending change in the relationship that the mother and daughter previously shared.  After years of nurturing, protecting, and caring for their daughters, mothers can fear (whether consciously, or subconsciously) being replaced by the daughter’s new husband. Daughters, on the other hand, may feel trapped and stifled by their mothers, believing that their mothers are being selfish by not letting the daughter grow up and live her own life.

A way to cut down on the conflict is have a very traditional ceremony and an extremely custom reception. One way to do this is with your color palette. Consider having an all white ceremony. White chairs, white dress, white flowers – think P. Diddy White Party. Then, rock out your reception with amazing color combos. The current color of the year selected by Pantone is Honeysuckle Pink. This would be awesome with Gunmetal Gray. Other cool color combinations are yellow / gray, pink / blue (but be careful – this ain’t a baby shower – think honeysuckle pink and navy blue) and turquoise / purple.

Bouquet & Garter Tosses: Oh, the dreaded bouquet toss where all of your single friends are herded out onto the dance floor, they stand there looking like deer in the headlights. They don’t care to catch the bouquet, they just want out of the spotlight! So save them that dreaded wedding moment, and give your toss bouquet to your mother instead. Ditto on the garter toss, tell your future hubby if he wants to remove your lingerie with his teeth he can wait for the honeymoon!

A fresh idea on the traditional toss – have a designer clutch and cufflink toss instead. This way everyone can participate! But – wrap up the clutch and cufflinks in soft packaging. You don’t want someone to get hit in the eye with a sharp object. How cool will it be for the “winners” to open their prizes in front of everyone.

About Samantha Dockery: Samantha Dockery is the owner of Bliss by Sam Weddings and Occasions, a premier wedding and event planning company in Durham, NC. Samantha and her team work with busy, discerning brides to reduce stress throughout their wedding planning process and on their wedding day, so they can relax and enjoy the moment. They’ve been featured in everything from The Knot.com to Weddings Magazine, Southern Bride and Groom Magazine and Durham Magazine. For event planning tips, check out the Daring Devoted blog at http://daringdevoted.com/ or visit their website at http://blissbysam.com. Also, you may follow Sam on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/blissbysamweddingsandoccasions

Photo by NEOART photography